So good to read the passion for badminton connected well with personal story. Behind every swing of the racquet has lots of struggle, pain, personal sacrifice and joy to talk about
Hi Prashant, I hope this article has helped you heal. Thank you for sharing your emotional journey as a sportsman. My son plays badminton. Your article has helped me understand why he does not want to give up the sport and continues to attend tournaments.
I am so happy to hear that you son plays badminton and that this piece has helped you understand why he doesn't want to give up the sport. I wish for him that he excels with your support.
About healing, the intensity of the pain remains the same, it is just that the frequency that has changed. I suspect it will remain and I confess, I don't want it to go away. I have learnt to live with it.
Writing is healing, my friend. That was such a touching account.
Sports can be ruthless and rewarding. How much one overcomes! How much one endures! How much one surrenders to a discipline! And what can one say about those priceless winning moments?!!
I am blown away by the details you remember - only a sportsperson could do that!
The piece is a moving dedication to uncle. I remember his smile. And I’m sure he is smiling proudly at you, my dear friend!
Almost three-and-a-half thousand words, all of them clearly written and rewritten until the "right" word was in the "right' place. You demonstrated well the power of simple words (few fancy big words) and an easy conversational tone.
This is, without question, the best writing of yours that I have ever read.
That being said, nothing is so perfect it cannot be improved.
I detected one typo (just the one) - a random double quote for no apparent reason, and no partner double quote.
And, while the words work well, I would ask you to go back and read this aloud. take note of where you need to pause, either to take a breath, or because it just "feels right" to pause there. And listen to the tone of voice you adopt as you read it. These are ways to find places where starting a new paragraph helps you manage the pace of the story, adds emotion through the tension of anticipation, or allows the reader to recognise a new thought train (or subject). All of these reasons don't change the words, but they do influence the impact that these words have on the reader
.
Try this for a short example.
You wrote this:
This story is not about badminton, it is about broken strings, my broken strings. Let me turn the dial back about 38 years. I was around seven to eight years old, growing up in a lower-middle-class family in India. I was the son of proud, hardworking parents who were determined to succeed, and for them, success meant a good education for my sister and me. So, when faced with the choice of buying a new shirt for himself or a saree for my mother, my father chose neither—he chose to give me the best education in the best school in the city. For me, sports was all about running around and playing with friends in a fast-evolving concrete jungle.
I suggest (and this is just a suggestion) This:
This story is not about badminton, it is about broken strings, my broken strings.
Let me turn the dial back about 38 years.
I was around seven to eight years old, growing up in a lower-middle-class family in India.
I was the son of proud, hardworking parents who were determined to succeed, and for them, success meant a good education for my sister and me. So, when faced with the choice of buying a new shirt for himself or a saree for my mother, my father chose neither—he chose to give me the best education in the best school in the city.
For me, sports was all about running around and playing with friends in a fast-evolving concrete jungle.
There may be different ways to do this, and this is one possibility that I have shared to show how the writer can make his story-telling have a different "feel" without any change in the words or their order.
You can also use added white space to create a longer pause between paragraphs by putting in two empty lines (Shift+ Enter) at the end of your paragraph before the Enter to create the new paragraph.
But remember, I am not the gospel on this :)
Overall however, you have done an exceptional job of getting across the personal aspects of this (true) life story, and for that you sound feel very satisfied.
So good to read the passion for badminton connected well with personal story. Behind every swing of the racquet has lots of struggle, pain, personal sacrifice and joy to talk about
Hi Prashant, I hope this article has helped you heal. Thank you for sharing your emotional journey as a sportsman. My son plays badminton. Your article has helped me understand why he does not want to give up the sport and continues to attend tournaments.
Hi Aneetha,
I am so happy to hear that you son plays badminton and that this piece has helped you understand why he doesn't want to give up the sport. I wish for him that he excels with your support.
About healing, the intensity of the pain remains the same, it is just that the frequency that has changed. I suspect it will remain and I confess, I don't want it to go away. I have learnt to live with it.
Regards,
Prasanth
Writing is healing, my friend. That was such a touching account.
Sports can be ruthless and rewarding. How much one overcomes! How much one endures! How much one surrenders to a discipline! And what can one say about those priceless winning moments?!!
I am blown away by the details you remember - only a sportsperson could do that!
The piece is a moving dedication to uncle. I remember his smile. And I’m sure he is smiling proudly at you, my dear friend!
My dear brother,
Well written and I felt what is inside u while writing every lines.
Step into the shoes back and Keep going Chingu.
Well, that was a journey and then some!
Almost three-and-a-half thousand words, all of them clearly written and rewritten until the "right" word was in the "right' place. You demonstrated well the power of simple words (few fancy big words) and an easy conversational tone.
This is, without question, the best writing of yours that I have ever read.
That being said, nothing is so perfect it cannot be improved.
I detected one typo (just the one) - a random double quote for no apparent reason, and no partner double quote.
And, while the words work well, I would ask you to go back and read this aloud. take note of where you need to pause, either to take a breath, or because it just "feels right" to pause there. And listen to the tone of voice you adopt as you read it. These are ways to find places where starting a new paragraph helps you manage the pace of the story, adds emotion through the tension of anticipation, or allows the reader to recognise a new thought train (or subject). All of these reasons don't change the words, but they do influence the impact that these words have on the reader
.
Try this for a short example.
You wrote this:
This story is not about badminton, it is about broken strings, my broken strings. Let me turn the dial back about 38 years. I was around seven to eight years old, growing up in a lower-middle-class family in India. I was the son of proud, hardworking parents who were determined to succeed, and for them, success meant a good education for my sister and me. So, when faced with the choice of buying a new shirt for himself or a saree for my mother, my father chose neither—he chose to give me the best education in the best school in the city. For me, sports was all about running around and playing with friends in a fast-evolving concrete jungle.
I suggest (and this is just a suggestion) This:
This story is not about badminton, it is about broken strings, my broken strings.
Let me turn the dial back about 38 years.
I was around seven to eight years old, growing up in a lower-middle-class family in India.
I was the son of proud, hardworking parents who were determined to succeed, and for them, success meant a good education for my sister and me. So, when faced with the choice of buying a new shirt for himself or a saree for my mother, my father chose neither—he chose to give me the best education in the best school in the city.
For me, sports was all about running around and playing with friends in a fast-evolving concrete jungle.
There may be different ways to do this, and this is one possibility that I have shared to show how the writer can make his story-telling have a different "feel" without any change in the words or their order.
You can also use added white space to create a longer pause between paragraphs by putting in two empty lines (Shift+ Enter) at the end of your paragraph before the Enter to create the new paragraph.
But remember, I am not the gospel on this :)
Overall however, you have done an exceptional job of getting across the personal aspects of this (true) life story, and for that you sound feel very satisfied.
I am very grateful to you.
Richard, I admire the way you critique a piece.
Thank you so much for taking the time to add these detailed notes. Each of us has so much to learn from you.